The Long Easter Week

One wonders if St. Thomas the Apostle looked like his twin, for we observe him respond to the Lord Jesus in two very contrasting ways and it could be supposed that the evangelist might have mixed up stories about him with his sibling.

First, we see him react to the Lord's tardiness in visiting the dying Lazarus with the confident words of a loyal friend, "Let us go to die with Him" (Jn 11:16) as he follows Jesus into dangerous Judaean territory. Yet, in contrast, towards the end of the very same gospel we hear his infamous, "I will not believe"(Jn 20:25) when he hears the news of Christ's postmortem visit. What accounts for these two inconsistent reactions in the one called Didymus? We can understand his desire to die with the Lord because we see this same desire mirrored in the lives of the saints. However, to have the spirit of doubt found in the same heart of the soon-to-be martyr baffles us.

Did Thomas really need to witness one more miracle to make him believe? His faith must have been quite strong after seeing the dead Lazarus walk out of his tomb. What an image must of been ingrained in Thomas' mind after being present for such an event as the raising of his deceased friend. Could he reasonably not also believe all his friends' testimony that the Rabbi had now risen Himself from the grave?

Perhaps the seemingly harsh test the Lord gave to Thomas was found not in testing Thomas' belief in the resurrection, but in allowing the resurrection to be seen by all the Apostles except Thomas, thus leaving him to contemplate the mystery of Easter faith not as an eye witness, but as a believer. It is no mere hour or even day that the Lord hides Himself from poor Thomas' eyes. It is an entire week that Thomas is left simply to ponder the Apostles' testimony and wonder why he too had not been privileged to see such a wondrous sight.

Why did the Lord leave him out? "I will not believe unless I too see," Thomas says. Do we not also say that with him? It is not fair! As Christ appears all around us, why does He not appear to us? Why amidst the joyous news of the Light's victory do we remain in the dark?

Genuinely following Christ does not immune the Christian from such questions, for we all have a little Thomas in us. Yet, exemplified in this story of the first Easter Week is a lesson for those who wish to venture down the path of faith: Christ may withdraw and remain hidden from our sight. He hid Himself down in Egypt from the proud sword of Herod (c.f. Mt 2:13-23). He hid Himself in the Temple from the anxious eyes of his parents (c.f. Lk 2:41-51). He hid Himself in sleep from the Apostles' fear of the storm (c.f. Mk 4:35-41). He now hides Himself in his newly resurrected body from the searching eyes of Thomas.

Christ may withdraw and remain hidden from our sight too. The seeming absurdity of a life lived close to God, but still riddled with unanswered questions, puts us side-by-side with Thomas as he hears others speak of their happiness in reuniting with their closest friend while himself wondering why it just so happened to have occurred when he was out. Reflecting on the cherished moments he shared with Jesus during His earthly life, Thomas must now reflect on the timing of the Lord's appearance during his own absence.

It is not difficult to imagine the frustration and sadness Thomas had to live during those long eight days as the apostle reflected on why he was not included in such a blessed visit. Yet, perhaps these eight days must happen to us all for, in the end, faith in Christ Jesus is necessary for our salvation. To simply trust Him like a child does his parent, regardless of His absence or our own.

During our own eight days we must invert Thomas' response and instead say, "I will not see unless I too believe". With such a determined commitment to see Him, faith can be strengthened when the Lord is taken from our sight. These moments of apparent divine absence bring with them not only the absence of His presence, but, as Chesterton would have it, the presence of His absence (c.f. G.K. Chesteron, The Everlasting Man). In these moments of darkness, our response is to hope against all hope and be like Steinbeck's Tom Joad and "lay one foot down in front of the other" and keep moving on. Whether we make sense of it all in this life does not really matter as long as we trust that indeed He will come and reveal Himself again. Resignation to His will is what matters even when it remains incomprehensible to our minds for "blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe"(Jn 20:29).