The Long Easter Week

One wonders if Thomas the Apostle looked like his twin, for we observe him respond to the Lord Jesus in two very contrasting ways and it could be supposed that John the Evangelist might have mixed up stories about him with his sibling.

First, we see him react to the Lord's tardiness in visiting the dying Lazarus with the confident words of a loyal friend, "Let us go to die with Him" (Jn 11:16) as he follows Jesus into dangerous Judaean territory. Yet, in contrast to this, towards the end of the very same Gospel we hear the apostle’s infamous, "I will not believe"(Jn 20:25) when he hears the news of Christ's postmortem visit to the other apostles. Thus, it might be asked, what accounts for these two inconsistent reactions in the one called Didymus? We can understand Thomas’ desire to die with the Lord because we see this same desire mirrored in the lives of the saints throughout history; however, to have the spirit of doubt found in that same heart of one who would later be martyred for his witness to Christ in India baffles us.

Did Thomas really need to witness one more miracle to make him believe in Jesus? His faith must have been quite strong after seeing the dead Lazarus walk out of his tomb by the command of Christ. What an image must have been ingrained in Thomas' mind after being present for such a momentous event as the reviving of his deceased friend. Could he not also reasonably believe his friends' testimony later on that their Rabbi had now risen from His own grave?              

Perhaps the seemingly harsh test the Lord gave to Didymus was found not in testing Thomas’ belief in the resurrection, but in allowing the resurrection to be seen by all the remaining eleven except him; thus, leaving this unfortunate man to contemplate the mystery of Easter faith, not as an eyewitness, but a believer.

It is no mere hour nor even day that the Lord hides Himself from poor Thomas' eyes- it is an entire week that Thoms is left behind to ponder the other apostles' testimony, wondering why he too had not been privileged to see such a wondrous sight.

Why did the Lord leave him out? "I will not believe unless I too see," Thomas says (c.f. Jn 20:25). Do we also not say that with him? It is not fair! As Christ appears all around us, why does He not appear to us? Why amidst the joyous news of the light's victory do we remain in the dark?

Genuinely following Christ does not immune the Christian from such questions, for we all have a little Thomas in us. Yet, exemplified in this story of that first Easter Week is a lesson for those who wish to venture down the path of faith: Christ may withdraw and remain hidden from our sight too. He hid Himself down in Egypt from the proud sword of Herod (c.f. Mt 2:13-23); He hid Himself in the Temple from the anxious eyes of his parents (c.f. Lk 2:41-51); He hid Himself in sleep from the apostles' fear of the storm (c.f. Mk 4:35-41); He now hides Himself in his newly resurrected body from the searching eyes of Thomas.

So too, Christ may withdraw and remain hidden from our sight as well. The apparent absurdity of a life lived close to God, but still riddled with unanswered questions, puts us side-by-side with the skeptical Thomas as he hears others speak of their happiness in reuniting with their closest Friend while he himself is left wondering why this reunion just so happened to have occurred when he was out. Reflecting on the cherished moments he shared with Jesus during His earthly life Thomas must now contemplate the timing of the Lord's reappearance during his own absence. It is not difficult to imagine the frustration and melancholy Thomas must have had during those long eight days as the apostle pondered why he was not included in such a blessed visit.

Yet perhaps these eight days must happen to us all because, in the end, faith in Christ Jesus is necessary for our salvation- a faith that “is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Heb 11:1). To simply trust in Him like a child does his parent, regardless of His absence- or our own.

During our own eight days we must invert Thomas' response and say instead: "I will not see unless I too believe."[1] With such a determined commitment to see Him, faith can be strengthened when the Lord is taken from our sight. These moments of apparent divine absence bring with them not only the absence of His presence, but, as Chesterton would have it, the presence of His absence.[2] In these moments of darkness, our response is to hope against all hope and be like Steinbeck's Tom Joad and "lay one foot down in front a the other" and keep moving on.[3] Whether we make sense of it all in this life does not really matter as long as we trust that indeed He will come and reveal Himself again. Resignation to His will is what matters even when it remains incomprehensible to our minds for "blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe" (Jn 20:29).

[1] A sentiment expressed by St. Augustine of Hippo in Sermo 43 and St. Anselm of Canterbury in the Proslogion.

[2] c.f. G.K. Chesterton, The Everlasting Man (San Francisco, CA: Ignatius Press, 2008), 92-93.

[3] John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath (New York, NY: Penguin Books, 1967), 176.